Don’t Worry, I know Life isn’t Fair!
Posted by Katrina Kaczmarek on June 15, 2012
I don’t need you to tell me, “Life is not fair.” I am living life is not fair. I am fully aware that life is not fair. It might make you feel better to tell me life is not fair, but it makes me feel worse. Believe me, I know life is not fair!
I do not need to hear that everything will be fine. I do not need to hear that getting a new job will make everything better and improve my finances. I do not need to hear, buck up it will all be o.k. In fact, things suck, and telling me such things only makes you feel better.
Words such as these are an empty balm; they provide no comfort.
I am in fact juggling balls, they are all in the air, and I am hanging on by a thread. Telling me to fix my situation and stand up, only tells me you don’t wish to help, you just want your own comfort.
Telling me it is not o.k. to hate life and people right now because it’s not nice to the people who have been nice to me during cancer, is just ridiculous. Go ahead; try and fight cancer, divorce, pill withdrawal and much more, and then try feeling all nice and happy. Try loving life and people in that situation and then we can talk.
People in pain don’t want you to tell them to get better. They don’t want you to tell them everything is fine. They don’t want to hear they are lucky or better off being left and divorced. It makes me want to laugh. You really want me to say, “Yes you are right, I am so lucky!” People in pain don’t want to hear; buck up baby, life is not fair. People in pain want compassion, empathy, understanding, and when possible help. Otherwise, shut up.
If you ask me how I am, mean it, because the answer might make you uncomfortable. If you have wanted to be my friend and have expected something other than honesty, you are looking for friends in the wrong places. It is not my job to make you feel better by pretending that everything is o.k. when it is very clearly not!
Just Saying!
Laura said,
Nothing use to, or it still does piss me off the most when people tell me, “well at least you can handle it because of your back ground in special education!!!” I so get where you are coming from right now!
Katrina Kaczmarek said,
Thinking of you Laura! Yes, we are on the same page!
Sheila Hawes said,
WOW!! Now that’s a whole lot of honesty in a few paragraphs…I LOVE it!! However, you may think you’re only hanging on by a thread, but I’m pretty sure that “thread” is at least a 1,000 lb test line. I can empathize with some of what you’re feeling but not all as I haven’t experienced the same trials. But from my limited experience, and having come through it, trust me, YOU’VE GOT THIS!! And, the most amazing thing I’ve found is that just when you think that thread is about to break and you can’t hang on anymore, the strength you need is suddenly and inexplicably there.
Kirsten Victor said,
You’re having a hard time, my friend. I’m hoping and praying that some of the pain seeps out and evaporates. I wanted to comment to your post a few days ago that it pisses me off when people say that suicide is selfish b/c they just don’t get it. But, don’t go there. I was reading in my new hammock on the balcony this evening looking up at beautiful clouds and watching cows meander, thinking that you’ll be able to enjoy it too pretty soon. Hang in there.
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