Posted by Katrina Kaczmarek on April 27, 2012
IF this were a game, I would be losing. Somehow, to the untrained eye I am losing a game that I am not even playing. Yet, I know the game because if we are honest with ourselves, very few of us are immune to image completely. So as I try to become more immune to image, I still know what image is, and what it represents to the majority of our society.
My ex-husband is driving around town in a beautiful new BMW, and he has a new job that he is very excited about, and now he has a girlfriend (or at least a regular dating companion).
And then there is me. For the past couple of days this whole me thing felt a bit rough. This morning as I was drying off from my shower I had a revelation. It has been said in many ways by many teachers, but I it hit me right this morning. My feelings don’t matter. Feelings will come and feelings will go (good and bad alike). The more I let them flow the quicker they will flow, and the more I will notice and enjoy the good ones. So I figured out that my feelings don’t matter, and what really matters is what I know. There is a big difference between what I feel and what I know right now.
I might feel like the bottom of the heap right now, but I know (deep down where it matters) that I am not the bottom of the heap right now. I may feel less than beautiful right now, but I know (deep down where it matters) that I am still getting back on my feet from a big cancer battle, and I am beautiful where it matters on the inside, and the outside will follow in time. I may feel scared about a plethora of things, but I know (down deep where it matters) that He is holding me tight, He will never let me go, and whatever This is, Is all for His Good and His plan.
Happy Loving and Sitting! ☺